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November 15 listening to 'november rain'i hate the fact that people can write so well and i can't! why does it get so difficult to express even on paper.. even in the anonimity of a blog, where no one is sposd to know how rich n famous or how poor n stupid you are.. words dun seem to come out! yes, i feel like listening to linkin park.. n i feel like doing things maybe good girls don't do! i had my first smoke, i wonder what mamma will think of it.. i kinda liked it, the smoke that comes from within.. the fact that i can create something so light as smoke.. i loved these lines: " i think smoke is beautiful, weightless and shapeless, it appears almost as decptively powerless as the person releasing it and yet it comes from within and rises above us all.." crap! i have this secret fantasy of gettin real high someday n losing my senses.. blabbering away to glory, away from reality.. maybe i will feel like some weightless object or perhaps i will get wings.. but there is this fear always of what one can do when they are above everything that matters in this world.. i wonder what i will blurt out.. winter makes me nostalgic.. i want it to be cold soon.. i dun like this transition to winter where people are too embarrased to wear jackets cos others are not yet feelin cold.. yes, m a part of those too who are afraid to be the first.. i'd rather wait for the other to begin before i can admit i'm cold.. (i already wear slippers at home cos the floor is cold! :P ) then again winters bring that chill.. its so wonderful! i remember the day i purposely took off my shawl jus to feel the prick of the cold through myself, its a something feel to have that numbness n cold cut through u.. i dunno why m talkin this way today.. but it feels good.. i want to stop eating.. i want to sleep.. i want to feel cold.. November 03 ... i had disjointed dreams last night.. i wonder if they mean anything at all! wish there was some way of interpreting dreams! November 02 ... Sahma sahma, dara sa rehta hai Jane kyu jee bhara sa rehta hai Ek pal dekh lu toh uthta hu Jal gaya sab kuch, zara sa rehta hai October 22 Some days u can never forget..The man was pulled out of water. There were 5 men holding his limp body. Three of them were holding the mid-section and two balanced the legs as the head dangled precariously. As they reached the beach, he was laid down on the wet sand. Immediately a large crowd of people who were bathing then on the beach gathered around. Amidst murmurs of 'Oh, he's dead..', 'Is he still breathing..', 'Someone call the doctor..', two foreigners jumped on to act on the body. They had been strolling casually on the beach when they heard the screams for help. A man in his forties with his three young children, and a man in his twenties had been pulled into deep waters by the sudden current in the water. For a few minutes nobody even realised what had happened, until a lady raised a scream for help. I was walking towards the changing room with fresh clothes when i heard a man running towards me asking to alert people. Radhanagar beach on Havelock Island is a rather quiet and lonely beach. Even though the water has gulped a few lives before, but there is no coast guard stationed there. As the man ran down the road and alerted a few local youths, i made a run to the beach to check if it wasn't anyone from my own family. My father, my brother and me were also swimming pretty deep in the water. Somehow, my mother felt a little unsafe and asked us to come out. I was already having a headache and decided to finish early. Soon after i came out, the water became a little rough. A guy was swimming within a distance of 1 foot of my brother. Dad asked my brother to come out as well and though he resented, after repeated pleadings he did come out. No sooner had he stepped out of the water, this guy and 4 other people were pulled inside by the current. I ran towards the beach to find my family members safe. Local youths and a policeman ran to save those who were drowning but no one dared to step into the rough waters. The ones who did came back real soon. All we could see from the shore were 5 pair of hands frantically moving in the water. Ultimately, an uncle and his two children were brought out. A man who was an expert swimmer brought them out and by the time he went in a third time, he was already out of breath. There were still two people, a child and a man in his twenties to be brought out. As he reached the two, both of them clinged on to him for life support. This caused the man to go down himself and in the spur of the moment, he removed the hand of one of them and swam ashore with the child. By the time he turned around, the guy inside could not be seen. Suddenly, we saw to our right that a German lady had plunged into the water at lightning fast speed and she swam and brought the man to a safe distance. From thereon, he had to be pulled through lasso by a rope. 8 men held on to the rope and fighting against the current he was carried outside by 5 of them. cont.. October 21 ...Sometimes your nearness I love you times infinity...
You're nothing short I only thought of you once today, princess, thanks for ur comment.. will write sometime when i feel like i should.. but sooner than later! take care! :) October 20 ... at times u have jus too many things crowding ur head at the same time.. its then when u don't know where to begin n where to end.. perhaps this has been the single most memorable n significant week of my entire life.. maybe people in the entire lives do not go through such a situation.. anyhow, its the 7 days which will forever remain in my memory.. have a lot to write about.. maybe later.. September 05 ... last nite me, jini n deba were at the terrace pretty late discussin bout things that really matter. for once, after a long long really long time i actually felt like interacting sensibly n not ur baseless bitching bout people. the way deba says the world really needs cleansing. all the while we've heard of a messiah comin down but u dun know for sure if these are true. but me n jini felt there is still a lot more to come. its like the pot is not yelled filled to the brim. there's a lot of worse that still has to come. one day, maybe humans will kill each other for power n there will be nothing left. life comes a full circle. again people will return to civilisation. maybe someday they will rise above everything else. thats how we say kalyug ends n styug begins again. they say instincts.. how do u actually define it. we live in this society bound by rules set up by some mindfucked poeple. u wake up, u survive n u go to bed. its all mechanical. deba was talkin bout this poem, its so wonderful. it goes like 7.00am : wake up 9.00am: reach office 12.30pm: lunch 5.00pm : go home 8.00pm : dinner 10.00pm : sleep now, either u can decide to wake up one day n say u wont follow a shit of it n not go to work, eat if u feel like, sleep if u may n so on.. in that case, the society wont accept u.. so u have two way with u, wither u end ur life or go back to the same set of rules. period. thats how pathetic we are. wonder at times who are we, what are we. are we part of some big experiment that someone above is conducting on us. like we are all variables in an equation. he adds human to see how it affects the world, n he draws another human to see how it hurts us. what does he deduce from it? if people jus have to die cos GOD needs them,. why not now,. why are they born in the first place then. is it fair to die at the prime of ur youth at 21?? damn it! if u die at 70 with a life well lived it is understandable.. and what bout people u leave behind? who plays with us! if we are part of this game we are supposed to know all the set of rules.. but no one does! in such a perfect creation, there has to be a flaw. n there is, what we call paranormal. when there is some connection between the two world, maybe then the flaw comes into existence. if we cud anipulate the flaw a bit n learn the truth. cud spirits be movin around as n when they feel like. cud they be jus next to u. its mind freakin! this instinct thing is so fascinating. like when u choose to walk the edge of the terrace. what makes u do that. that is ur bare essential instinct. maybe at that one moment u are actually living n all other days are jus playin the rules. change is essential, really. i cud jus go on about topics like death n lif before n beyond. maybe at this moment i'm being a complete hypocrite n this is a way of escapin from reality. but then, is reality real? August 10 ..this blog means nothing.. jus had to say things out, so did.. sometimes u say u hate someone, but behind their back u keep a track of all their moves.. actually wondering if they are ok or not, like everything they do or don't matters so much to you! even though there may not be much left of it, but deep down u wish things could come together.. yet if u cross that person down the street u pretend to ignore them. is this ego, or maybe u want the other person to know how it feels to be ignored, or are u trying to show them u didn't notice n dun care! well somewhere it becomes more like convincing urself that u dont! feels wierd but then its true! i know we are not supposed to be friends, maybe ur made of everything i am not.. i know everyone says ur bad n i know that too.. but then its a lil hard to convince ur own self.. to say that it was all made up n nothing was genuine.. maybe i am holding back, maybe i am not letting go.. and even though i may say i don't care n it doesn't affect me n i am being practical n all that crap.. but deep down it still effects me! i know it shouldn't! its like i know everything but still why is it so hard to forget the past n accept the truth.. getting over things are important.. n the way i can see the correct things yet i am not letting go, i am the one who is getting hurt. July 24 :(what in the world has come over me! why the hell am i so damn lazy all the time! i sleep almost all day! its like i tell dad he does NOT have to wake up early jus to take the pain of wakin me up.. but then today when he didn't, i missed my class! damn! i have no clue what has come over me.. i never used to be so lazy! is it lazy or i'm getting weak? i have no clue! i drink bournvita everyday now is it actually normal to crib so much? like care more bout what others say or do n not do anything of ur own? if i put some effort n then compared to what someone else did, it perfectly made sense.. but jus thinkin n cribbin n not doin nething?!! ever seen a rabbit being chased? after running a little, it will bury its head in the ground n think that he eagle cannot see him cos he cant either! simple! i am so a rabbit! damn! (so much cursin) jus gimme loadsa work n responsibilities, n i'm gonna give up! its like someday i will be left with no hope at all! for now, pleaseee gimme some help regardin how to wake up early.. if u realise, alarms don't work too well with me! n yeah, how to be more active n NOT so lazZzy all the while! June 28 -_- hey! *yawn* m so damn sleepy these days all the time.. mostly cos m so used to stayin up late in the night n sleepin in the mornings.. n now with classes n work n studies all together m system is not adjusting well. i've got morning classes n i have to wake up at 6 but i end up gettin up at 7 n rushin to class. *yawn* so m sleepin late still but gettin up early n that basically makes me feel sleepy all the time.. m mostly not listenin in the class n droolin away my happy hours.. lolz.. neway i end up sleepin in the afternoons n i hate that! got these dark circles comin up too.. cant change m system either.. m so used to stayin up late.. n all the more i'm so *yawn* lazy that i keep postponding m work until the last minute n then m doin it all sleepy n half-heartedly.. uff, i think i needa sleep again.. though its afternoon now but i hardly have an option.. m eyes r gettin droopy.. i gues m jus gonna sleep in m jeans itself, too lazy to change.. bah.. * yawn* gud day ppl.. happy being awake.. June 18 :) at times u jus need to think straight.. too much introspection doesn't help.. if all that happened in the world started to effect us.. we wudnt remain ourselves but become a different person each day.. its about u and who u are.. what u can do to the world.. all of us are not the same and so gettin effected by what others say or do n becoming like them wud jus make all of us the same.. jus cos someone hurts , u cant be mean.. that way no one wud be compassionate.. its like, 'an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind'.. so jus do what u have to do, dun think too much.. its not always that things have a purpose.. sometimes u jus do it for others.. phew! random blabberings.. June 13 :)phew! only thing m really glad bout is dat xams are over.. dunno if it will lessen the burden any.. cos next is my inter xam.. *sigh* makes me wonder everytime why the hell did i go for C.A in the first place.. neway guess its bout responsibilities.. most of the things that ppl do r related with others life, more than ours.. neway all i can pray for is dat i clear this level so that m atleast half way through C.A .. maybe if i cud clear this one in the first shot itself, i might as well consider givin up on it n switching over to sumthin else.. bah! watever that's far rite now.. m glad atleast the who load all the time of studyin is gone for sumtime.. but i cant figure out where to start for C.A.. its like so much n so little time! u know the next moment it makes me wonder if all that we crave for free time n having nothing to do.. how wud it really be? like if we cud actually be left on our own with nothing to do.. yeah yeah right now its really seeming like bliss n i'm grinning like an idiot.. but really, what will be the aim in life then.. its like wandering around with no purpose.. maybe as they say 'karma' is all that for which we live.. and m lil cousin sis who is a grandmum at givin advices.. she always says whatever happens is for good ..also that our doing or not doing does not really alter nething.. we always get what we deserve n what is destined for us.. yeah, i believe in destiny but then is it always like u get what ur destined to irrespecive of what u do or dont.. in that case i cud jus sit here all day n if i am destined to get good grades i really will.. lolz..! :P neway there's lotsa happening stuff goin on in life.. for once the xams ended n am i glad or what! next, ruby n bhaiya is one chapter of m life that i wanna shut n throw in deep waters.. dunno, strange how two most important people in ur life change so much n then one day comes when u part away from them n it doesnt even hurt.. everytime i think of the happy moments we spent together, its really hard to believe things cud come to this stage.. oh well, whateer happens is for good! :) u know this makes me wonder.. where in the world its difficult to trust people n stay friends with others, how the hell do ppl commit to relationships! bah.. i've really got this commitment phobia.. n soon i'm gonna have marriage phobia too! can u believe this? bang! in the mid of m xams, this close friend of mine calls up n tells me she got engaged! engaged? omg! dya even know what that means? lolz.. we're 20! u cant possibly get engaged now.. r we that grown up? obviously not! the next few days that followed were disastrous.. it was increasingly becoming difficult to concentrate on studies.. man, mid xams! anyhow, deal is shez really ok with it.. not even that its love marriage or sumthing.. its typically arranged! dude, u cant say yes by jus talkin to the guy for 10 mins!! that not even funny.. its ridiculous! neway shez calm n composed n i'm berserk! i jus cant figure this out! lolz.. 20 man is not even ur age! wierd how ppl can still be so conservative.. for some people the 'marriage' deal is like jus shifting houses.. there is nothing emotional to it.. crazy i tell u! shez the 4th friend of mine.. 2 got married n 2 are engaged! i wonder shoudl i be actually lukin around for prospective matches? m not that grown up right.. or so i thot! neway this is what is called cultural difference i guess! watever it is.. m realy wasnt prepared n had no clue that things like these also exist! next thing she had to console me n make me stop crying! ok ok fine i broke down.. big deal! shez a close frnd n shez engaged at 20, hell m still 19! maybe it is no big deal bt it actually is.. u wudnt know! :P neway not m accepting things a lot more openly.. maybe this is jus how things are u know.. n u gotta be ready to see a lot more new stuff out there in the world.. some pleasent n some not so pleasant! i swear, end of high school n 2nd yr of college.. things have changed a hell lot in these two yrs! lifes gone topsy turvy.. times change man, times really change.. May 05 ta-da! today i feel like hanging from the branch of a tree.. n i feel like
wearing a bright, flowery, perhaps white dress n dancing across a lush
green field.. wudn't even mind singing 'aaj fir jeene ki tamanna hai'..
he he.. feels like i haven't acted like me in ages now! i haven't been
CRAZY..can u believe that! n like when i met this really old friend n i
spoke to one of them on the fone.. they were like u used to be so hyper
n whats with u these days.. duh! then the sudden thing struck me that
even though u got responsibilities doesn't mean u stop being happy all
the time.. lolz, like doesnt mean if someone tells u to act mature u
get all serious n aunti-aunti types basically.. i think 24hrs are not
enough in a day! look at me, i dun get half the time to finish things
on my mind.. i have to play the guitar, i have to meet freinds, i have
to attend events, pluz i have to study.. and classes, they take like
episodes to end.. boring ones! bah, its so good to not make sense
again! gosh, i have stopped writing m diary too can u believe dat.. how
does jus time fly by so quickly! and and can u believe this, i almost
becams like so low these days, i purposely din take calls n then people
who met me on the roads had to tell me to get back! :P i guess itotally
had lost it afterall! but theres this sudden realisation like people
got jobs n family n cooking n partying n yet they are sane! how can i
loose it jus cos of pressure.. lolz, silly me! m jus feelin all.. dun
know.. m like to hell with things.. lets jus let go.. u know there was
this really really nice discussion i heard on the radio that made me
feel i dun let go for the sake of not maybe losing m innocence or
smthng! :P and who invented the word 'whatevr' and why do girls use it
so much! hmm.. February 24 ...ok.. u know what? it doesn't take much to be honest.. i mean for god's sake.. even in little daily matters when ppl like to u.. it make u feel sick.. makes u go insane.. like, why wud u lie to me in the first place? wud it make me like u any better? or does it help in making u a better person.. like it reflects in ur resume as another 'achievement'.. its nasty..totally nasty! n for once, ask urself..doesn't it make u feel guilty about saying such things??.. what are u.. wud it make me like u any better if i knew it later.. much after i did think u were what u said.. uugghh!! makes me sick.. jus hate this.. February 18 ~life~the times u were young n played innocently.. that giggle, those pranks.. life was a playground of fantasies.. the first classroom, the first repulsion towards growing.. crying in ur mamma's arms, begging not to go to school.. life already seeming like a burden.. n oh, how we were told that it was jus few more years to endure.. high school nasty comments, laughters filled with sarcasm.. the first anger burning inside, the impulsive words spoken.. drawing into ur own self, withdrawing from the circle.. makin happy with the dark, cursing at the moon.. decisions of life..responsibilities unattended.. losing that special someone..only one.. then another new chapter of life.. a breeze of bliss.. a life born of a life.. return to innocence.. watching as time grows.. colours fading from the eye.. a step towards the horizon.. a moment of tide.. and peace.. February 07 the butterfly who was thrown out by her in-laws :(today me n vidhya were at the bus stop. her bus usually comes pretty late, n so she makes me miss all my buses even though they maybe freakin empty (very rare!) n wait till she leaves. it was jus another day after class n we walked down to the bus stop. there was this guy who was playing with a butterfly! ugh! i jus dun seem to figure out how ppl can hold butterflies in their hands.. imagine someone bending both ur hands backward until they wud break! even though this may really sound amusing..but m pretty scared of butterflies! yeah..scared.. i know ur findin it funny bt dun laugh oki.. so here's how my fear began.. when i was young, n i mean pretty young..as in a kid.. my mom used to tell me different stories.. n there was this one particular story of a butterfly which m never gonna forget. see, what happens is this butterfly is married n has in-laws.. so one day she goes out n wanders around the garden n watches the flowers n all that.. n then somehow she falls down n hurts herself.. but then the brave butterfly gets back home somehow.. but seems like shez got typical in-laws.. so her mom-in-law points out that when she must've fallen on the flowers, she lost a lil colour of her wings. n so, her family doesn't accept her anymore n the butterly has to leave home forever! i totally used to feel sorry for the butterfly n ever since dat day i dun even stay near a butterfly lest by any chance in hits me n loses even a tiny-weeny bit of colour. but can u believe those in-laws..i swear i cud kill them! anyway, the story ended on a sad note..but since then so much so was i empathising with these butterflies that even a year back when accidentally this butterfly hit me n i had a lil of its brown colour on my hand, u wudnt believe this..but i cried like hell n i ran to my mom saying her family won't accept her cos of me! find it funny eh..well, its not..it really hurts! so, i dunno what happened to her cos i think it hit the fan n died anyway..but better than being rejected. oki watever i know all of this doesnt make sense to u..but i care! net time if u ever hold a butterfly, jus remember, her family won't accept her n it'll be jus cos of u! everyones been tellin me m lost these day, n i'm not studying, n i'm on the net too much..well, as always i dun agree but then who cares! happy living, adios! :) January 29 ... 'broken heart' by white lion is a great song! anyway, that's jus general.. so what have i been upto..zinch..nothing! yeah..that's xactly what i've been doing. i dunno what's with me..times i think maybe things r better, n then i think jus the opposite..i even dunno what m writin right now..i dun even mean to write all this. neither do i mean to shout or cry or jus watever! i hate most of the things that happen around me.. i jus dun wanna grow up maybe! at times i feel maybe i dun wanna grow up on purpose..like m holding back or sumthing.. i dun like meeting ppl these days, i want ppl to be honest to me at all times..hell, i dun even feel like i have my bday tomm.. its like m livin each day as it comes..doin everything m 'sposd' to do.. it's sumone else's life, not mine.. i dun live it for me, m jus doing all the things you want to me.. yeah, i'll be a good daughter, a succesful person, a caring friend, a great advisor..and i won't even complain when u get pisd off at me! m gonna be all nice to u :) January 15 ...orite..finally i can get to doing sumthing i like doin but hardly can! new year..umm..started pretty well..took off with a blast! but jus when u think things r smooth..n well, for once when things were goin orite..bang..boom! its hard to believe that a simple thing like water can get so dangerous.. last week dad was havin water n some-insanely-how it went down his wind pipe..almost half a glass! first we thought it was jus him coughing, but then he cudn't breathe.. next thing i know he fell on me! i swear my world totally spun around! for once, u think that its all over..its like, all those evil thoughts jus have to come to u right then! neway..we managed to rush him to the hospital..was critical then..n after 1 n half hr he finally opened his eyes! that one moment is jus so important i can't describe..its as if life gives u a second chance..! dad's fine now..running after me n irritating me mostly! but m glad to be bugged for once.. hope all of u had a nice new year.. m havin lotsa things goin in my head rite now..i wonder why ruby has been so busy..my guitar is doin gud too..though m upset bout missing the last class..n even though ranjini asked me if i was, i said no neway shez my buddy.. orite, m gng now..take care! happy living.. January 03 happy new year! :) for once, m content with all thats happening in my life.. i got a new guitar m really not gud yet..but nvrtheless i manage to play 'leaving on a jet plane' by john denver 2007 had been great! with its own ups n downs..but when i look back, m really smiling at all the events that went by..some, extremely important ones too! 2008 seems optimistic as of now.. not just my new guitar, but seems like my net connection is compromising with me too! so fi fi finallllyyyy i can blog easily! divoo got married....yeah!! n she luks sooo awesum omg!! i hope this new year brings peace, stability and smiles in everyones life..wishing all of u a very happy 2008!! November 23 isn't life randomly beautiful..*sigh*..aaaaaaaaaaaaaww......!!!!
omi gawd!!
u soo cant beliv what hapnd to me today..shit i cant bliv it myself!! i spoke to JOHN ABRAHAM on the damn FONE!!!!!!!!
mom called me up frm mumbai airport whr she had gone to attend a meeting.. she told me he was at the VIP lounge n that he signed an autograph for me.. next she asks me if i wud like to talk to him!! like fuckin shit u think i cud???..i said absofuckinlutely noooo... but then she goes straight ahead..gives me a call two mins later.. n then THIS happens to me:
voice: hi rhea, how r u?
me: hey all the best for ur movie, m sure it'll do great!! (too nervous for greetings..blabbers jus bout what helps)
voice: ya, defntly watch the movie..
me:ya, all the best ( short n honest)
voice: ok then, take care..
me: ya, same to u..(IDIOT!)
voice:bye
me:ya, bye....
brrrrr what a mess!! jus did the least bit i cud..gud that i din say 'eh what like john ya hi i mean i like u a lot'... he he !!
today is jus soo happening!!
i totally luw me..
he said take care..
he cares bout me...oooohhh...
*snap* wake up!!
October 21 vroom...life can be so randomly beautful at times..gee..
like times ur fuckin tired with everything that goes on in ur life n u sssoooo feel like running away.. like totally cuttin it off..snap..n being on ur own.. n well finally when u do think uve achiEvEd ue dEsire..lolz..funny isnt it.. like suddenly ppl wann cum back to u..rite things shoved back to ur face.. ppl wanna be wid u again..n ppl u think were part of ur past..whadya do now?..think again..give em another chance shud u? n him..who says ive changed..yay! nothings made me happier bfore.. n mah reults 74% first year..lolz..like m 3RD..geek man!
happy living..
me March 02 long time..but back!!Hey everyone..m back!! Lol..well that’s possibly the umpteenth time m sayin it all over!!
First n foremost I had my C.A or chartered accountancy exams.. Then..i had the results..n I cleared em!! =) clap..clap..clap!!.. Then I took a lil time off watching movies n being to myself.. And umm..uhh..”the special reason” as well.. *~My birthday….!!!!~* yay!!..i turned 18..n u know the first thing that I noticed after visiting my space looong time now..mah age still shows 17..hehe!! so I needa change that too.. strange it is how people decide to call u an adult by the difference of one day!!..i din grow up suddenly on one day..n yet on 31st jan 2007 I turned “legally adult”..phew!! so changes?..nah..i gues m still the way I was..nothing close to mature..!! so what did I do on mah big day..well, ask me?..i sulked..all day long.. I mean c’mon..my big bro has to leave the day before for work..my friend has to leave suddenly for her grandmums place..my mom has an urgent meeting..n I have my C.A exam two days later..some major drama I did!! But it wasn’t that low either.. Guess what mah friend ranjini did.. at the clock of 12, she called me outside mah home and put her hand on my eyes kinda blindfolding me.. then she led me down the staircase carefully to the 1st floor where she lives..n can u believe what happened next..the entire staircase was lined with candles..n there was a big cake at the end of the candles..!! So that’s probably all I did on my day!! And right now its raining here..the sky is dark n the mood is so pretty.. tomorrow is HOLI….yipeeee!! u know I love playing holi..we play nasty holi with so much of water colour..n then u sit scrubbing ur skin all over..uuuggh that’s the worst part..ur skin burns so bad..but its all worth it!! Hey wish all of u guys a VERY VERY HAPPY HOLI!!..have a great time..n a colourful holi!!..hmm..rainman mustve had a fight with his gurl..no wonder shes come complaining..hmm..he does it all the time!! Be back soon…..~*!
December 30 namesake..
I’m not too much of a reader..n novels r definitely not my game..though the few that I have read..m happy to come across such pieces. The last book I remember reading was ‘the namesake’ by jhumpa lahiri..not jus cos I had heard a lot bout it..but the name of the book itself seemed quite interesting. My cousin questioned me some time back when we were talking bout books as to how the name of a person can be so important to someone..well in order to know that..u have to read this book. Though some people did not quite like the ending..but honestly, I feel there cannot be a better end..or beginning to the book..beginning, cos u will know what I mean when u read it. Namesake is beautiful..it’s a journey..as if ur reading the life of a person written down in a book. The little nitty-gritty of the characters is so well written. N after I completed reading this book, I was quite fascinated by my name as well Needless to say I got a detailed search done on my name..and at the end of it all..i love my name..yay!! So I jus casually decided to trace the entire history of my name..starting from the pre-historic time when a girl was born into the planet among the many other souls residing therein as well. Ok so when this lil girl was born..ppl were happy all right..n then comes the naming part.. Mamma wanted ‘paromita’ (yucks..!!)..but then she herself said no as she felt people wud shorten my name as ‘paro’ (kya ada kya jalwe tere paro..hehe..!!).. Dad wanted ‘richa’..hmm..lovely.. richa Bhattacharyya..impressive!!.. though that was rejected too..(god knows why!!) Then every relative in India will be ever ready to contribute in..n everyone knows what follows..lots of confusion..lots of pandemonium.. names names..n even more weird names..short names..long names..pet names.. strange complex obnoxious names!!!! Though ‘RIA’ managed to survive it all..n came out victorious!! So that’s how I was named..hold it..initially that is.. Now my mom always has strange explanations for even stranger ideas that she has..n the conviction with which she will put it across will make anyone believe what she says is true..a fine woman she is..truly.. I don know why or how..but she had these crazy ideas that ‘ria’ was not doing good to my health..all this bcos I fractured my hand at the age of 3..my very first fracture..at 3..u can imagine jus how mad I am!!..hehe.. so here she goes to change the way I spell my name..gets to know that ‘rhea’ is another way I can spell my name..and ~*voila*~..’rhea’ was born.. U know how easy it is for parents to change the name of a person as they like it..oh mind u my name was changed when I came to being 10yrs.. and by 10 yrs of age..everyone has somewhat an identity.. ur name defines who u r..its how ppl know u..u get completely used to being known by this name..its ur existence on this planet among millions of people.. N then suddenly ur asked to spell it as ‘rhea’..easy it may seem..shudnt make too much of a difference does it..believe me..it does..for the first few months u simply fumble with the spelling and nothing else..though gradually u tend to think beyond..i did too.. Since u get so attached to ur name..it’s a lil difficult to realise u have a changed identity now..and believe me..its never easy to completely be ‘rhea’..some part of u will forever be ‘ria’..will forever wanna be ‘ria’ too..its way beyond jus the way how u write ur name..u grow with ur name..mature with the name..there are memories with it..my childhood..my birth..aren’t they special to everyone.. And even though m used to rhea..used to as in practically..to think of it..when I trace my name back..there is a part of me that is ‘ria’..and not ‘rhea’..and even though my name has changed..that part of me will never change..it will remain, and I want it to remain ‘ria’..that’s where my innocence lies..my real being.. I love my name..and the way I have grown with it..but believe me..in a way m really very lucky..to have had two identities..two lives in one life..special isn’t it..that’s me!!
These are a few meanings of my name I would like to share with everyone..though yes, the meaning with which my name was decided was that it is the name of a goddess of Greece..
(1) In case you love history.. in Greek mythology Rhea was a Titan, the wife of Cronus, and the mother of Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Hera, Demeter and Hestia. (2) Also, in Roman mythology a woman named Rhea Silvia was the mother of Romulus and Remus, the legendary founders of Rome. (3) And in case you love animal planet, Rhea is also the name of a beautiful flightless bird similar to ostriches, found from Brazil to Patagonia. (4) Any dictionary would give the meaning of ‘rhea’ commonly as a three toed American ostrich. (5) If you love Geography, Rhea is the second largest moon of Saturn and was discovered in 1672 by Giovanni Domenicco Casseni, the names of the other moons being Tethys, Dione and Lapetus . Tethys you must be knowing, right? Its the same name after which the Tethys Sea has been named. (5) But above every other reasons its special because its given to me by my mom, right?
Coming to think of it..i like the way my name is spelled backward as well..air or aehr..it’s the element I belong to as well..
All said n done..i do loooove my name..!! <3<3<3 [the song on my space is a very old one..dunno how many of u must've heard it..but i sooo love it!!]
December 25 back..yay!!
Love hurts when u love someone but he dosent.. Love also hurts when someone else loves u but u don’t..
Though the second is rather rare..but perhaps im a victim of this rare situation. One thing I have always believed is that whatever happens is for the good.. there are times u begin to question like what the hell could possibly be good bout all this.. Time, time..give it time.. Time does heal everything.. n sooner or later u tend to realise that whatever happens is actually for the good. Everyone who enters our life comes with a specific purpose.. a day..a week..a month..they also come for a specific time.. n then u gotta let go of them. N when they have to go, it may seem horrible back then to let go.. but hey, that’s how its meant to be.. sometimes again, others will come into ur life for them to learn something.. its some kinda lesson or just memories that u give to them that they needed.. has nothing to do with u to learn.. life has its ways of teaching things to u.. n all of it just build up to make who you are.. your character.. your personality..
N one thing that I have realized is……….. enough of being love sappy for the time Thanks to all of u for tolerating my nonsense.. N for him.. im sorry that I don’t love u.. but I pray u realise im not ur perfect girl n find someone worthy of u..
Okeeeeeyy so rhea is back.. renewed.. recharged.. n refreshed.. that’s three re’s in a row.. not bad to begin with.. i know I was rather funny back few days.. but like gimme my space n I know I will be ok.. n to say, that precisely was why I came on msnspaces.. to get my space.. where I cud scribble my random thoughts n blah blah..
N there is this new sudden spurge of self confidence in me.. something that suddenly struck me.. n it makes me do things the way I want.. the way I see.. U know I’ve learnt that if u want to live life ur way.. u gotta go out there shout to the world n tell them you have arrived.. u have to take chances.. even though others may not like it.. but then I guess we have had enough of caring for what others say.. i could have like died without ever trying anything in life.. n one thing is for sure.. the life I have ahead.. im gonna try to live it just the way I want.. n not care much bout other’s crap.. let them have a piece o their own shit.. oops, sorry!.. Hey hey.. m feelin so good now.. seriously man, u know u gotta take chances in life.. otherwise, life maybe safe.. safe, but boring.. Orite.. look out.. m on the ride now.. rhea comes calling.. m riding now…..!!
Merry Christmas to everyone across the globe..i wish santa fills ur bag with happiness..do tell me if he gave u a gift in ur sock..dad didn’t put any in mine this year..guess he forgot!!..i wish santa gives him peace n gud health n so for everyone of u..may this Christmas be a joyous n fulfilling one..ho ho ho..merry chRistMas!!
It’s a new day.. |
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